SO i just posted a long thing on fedi that i think might've fit better here. cuz
midway through i felt like hm i want to keep writing but i feel mildly weird
doing it on fedi rather than here but at this point i don't want to switch so
yeah. that being said holy shit it's been like, 2 weeks since the last entry.
that's fucking weird. a lot has happened, idk why i haven't written here, i've
been meaning to and now is a good time to do so.

i'm home now! i'm officially a college drop-out, and i hold that title with
honor. one thing that kinda struck me is that the people who lived in the house
were like, genuinely sad to see me go, like ig i made an impact or something and
they liked having me around and they'll miss me or something. and i'll miss them
too, the people there were like, the one thing that i'll definitely miss. they
also were all understanding of my reasons for leaving. which is good but also
kinda interesting, cuz a lot of them said stuff like how their parents would
kill them if they decided to drop out or whatever, and like, idk if it's a
generational thing or if it's just a thing where when you become a parent you
want what's "best" for your child even if that ends up actually being
detrimental, but yeah i feel like lots of parents have views about college that
are, just, bad and harmful, whereas pretty much everyone around my age i talk to
is super understanding and also, like, on my side about it, like they agree with
the decision given my reasoning. just a thing i've noticed. people generally
aren't too worried about me, even though i don't really have a plan, which is
good i think given that i'm kinda worried about myself lol.

mood has been a bit inconsistent over the last couple days specifically, but
other than that it's definitely a night and day difference how i feel at home vs
how i felt before. idk how much of it is a coincidence or other factors, but god
i just feel so much less shitty here. i actually feel, alive, and, almost good
even.

also found a therapist, gonna start talking with him in early june, so that's
probably good.

been working with my parents on like, making an actual resume. and i really hate
it but also like i kinda have to.