it's like, simultaneously not wanting to tell people about my problems but also
really wanting people to see what i'm going through, which is just unrealistic,
like yeah sometimes people will read what i write here but i can't just expect
that everyone who i want to see something will see it without me actually
talking to them. and i don't really know why i do this. like, i guess, the
reality log works for me and i have no idea why, or even if it's healthy