simultaneously want to vent to people outside of the reality log but also 1. i
don't even know what i'm venting about so it'll just be gibberish nonsense
whatever, 2. i don't want to be annoying, 3. see previous point but also i think
there's maybe an element of how people perceive me? which is weird to say since
i literally have a public reality log where i'm pretty fucking open but it's
still, like, hidden away, like i'm screaming into a void but the door to said
void is unlocked, as opposed to just telling people "hey did you know i'm fucked
up in the head let me explain how". or maybe it's something else, maybe i'm just
feeling sad for no reason and putting other stuff on it again. or maybe it's in
the middle, like it started because of a thing that happened then turned into
just general sadness, actually i don't know what i am