not sure how much i'll write. i definitely SHOULD sleep since it's late but also
it doesn't reeeally matter, also i kinda wanted to write at least something
before sleep

1. i finally told my parents the deal with what's been going on. with the whole,
like, not going to classes and shit, and also about how i want to drop out
basically. and they're very supportive and great and i love them, and yeah. so
it's not *official* official yet, but it's like, pretty official-ish. here's the
thing: i really wasn't feeling super stressed out or bad about the prospect of,
like, being on my own and dropping out and stuff. but then my mom texted me
asking if i want them to call to start taking steps to officially withdraw. and
at that moment it hit me, like, shit this is real lol. and my thoughts haven't
changed, i still think this is right for me, but it just felt more, *real*. it's
a bit scary. but that's life. so yeah i said let's give it like one week just to
be absolutely certain. but yeah that's that. it's nice that my parents are
supportive and it makes me feel more comfortable trying out what works best for
me blablabla yeah
2. yea i'm cis i think lol. like, 80% sure at this point. i was gonna write a
big thing for like, why i think this and also why it took me so long to get to
this point (cuz taking all this time to decide you're cis is obviously, like,
not normal lol) but i'm kinda tired and don't want to so maybe another time, or
maybe not wow what a mystery
3. my routine each day i think has been feeling kinda same-y recently, and not
in a good way. specifically cuz sometimes i kinda *want* to do things but i just
can't or don't, it's confusing and complicated and i'm gonna sleep now