feeling REALLY stressed. end of term, today was a super busy day and i actually
did stuff today but like holy fuck i almost feel like this is what we're
expected to do every day, and what most people actually DO every day. so yeah im
also just feeling stressed as hell about the end of the term, realizing how much
i have to do and realizing i technically have a plan which at least that's
something and i'm gonna stick to it but damn it's fucking overwhelming. i feel
like i just have to get through this one week before break so i can overwork
myself, i kinda have to. but fuck its stressful and i just constantly have this
feeling of anxiety that normally im able to just ignore. also manifests into bad
thoughts but i feel like the reeally bad ones haven't been as bad, so hopefully
that stays like that. just this week. it's going to be hell but that's ok.
maybe. or maybe i'll just, give up. i'm trying to have a positive attitude
because there's pyschology about this i think where if you believe something
will happen it actually becomes more likely to happen, like you motivate
yourself or whatever. so im trying to believe like, i can get through this week,
i can pass everything, i'll work super fucking hard and it'll all work out. but
also it's very hard to believe that. trying though. even things that i normally
enjoy are just not enjoyable rn cuz of how stressed i am about everything, so
now it's just difficult to do anything.