i'm just vibing to music right now, so i probably won't have a huge amount to
say here. but like, it's weird that rn my mood is, like, good. idk. also i
finally went to the math tutoring center today to get some help and holy fucking
shit tutoring is so much more helpful than lectures. like, ok obviously, but, i
mean, it wasn't even a concept i felt like i struggled with or needed extra help
on, just, in a lecture, i cannot for the life of me pay attention or stay
focused, and i just miss everything and don't know what im doing. if it's
one-on-one, and someone just, tells me, then suddenly something that the
professor spent an entire class on can just be explained in like 10 minutes and
i *get* it. i'm just not cut out for lectures. i'm definitely gonna be using
this resource more often.

something that just occured to me is that the group chat i've been in for many
years at this point is dying, or, kinda already dead, with only occasional
messages and stuff. it sucks cuz these have been friends i've had for a long
time but i think the friendship is fizzling out. which happens, but still, kinda
sucks. i don't feel a huge urge to try to really make things continue to work
cuz like whatever happens happens and i dont feel a super strong connection here
anymore. not that we'll stop being friends, but these used to be very close
friends and they're not really that close anymore. again, i'm not even really
bothered by this, i think more than anything it just means i have less people to
talk to about certain things, but eh it's been that way for a while at this
point, and i have other friends so it's not like i'm completely lonely, despite
often feeling like i am lol (tbh the loneliness is mostly about wanting love and
less about friends)

istg i had multiple more things to write but then i got caught up in the music
im listening to and completely forgot lmao. might write something later idk