i genuinely hate insomnia. i have been trying to sleep for over 2 hours now. at
this point it doesn't matter, like, ok i forgot to take melatonin and at this
point i dont want to because i have to wake up early and i want to actually,
like, wake up. so at this point if i dont pass out im just gonna pull an all
nighter. it sucks because im going home tomorrow (today) which is great but i
cant sleep in the car, like i try but i just can't. so like, if ive pulled an
all-nighter *and* i'm unable to sleep, well that's gonna be fun now isn't it.

anyways yesterday was good. did very good in philosophy final so at least i'm
passing that class. was also productive with coding and stuff. i did some misc
stuff in nestris clone and i'm working on adding online multiplayer (i felt
compelled to do it, which is funny since i havent even added local multiplayer
yet and i'm gonna be doing online first lol). OH ALSO we did secret santa, and i
got a cat dildo. it's a 3d printed dildo but the tip and balls are cat. it's
fucking hilarious and i love it, tbh best gift i could've asked for

other thing, i finally published the nestris clone, and like, ok, i feel like
it's a negative trait to crave ""popularity"" or like people find you or your
work notable or important, but it kinda gives me a big dopamine rush, and
especially when i started getting like, actual followers on fedi and shit, like
damn that felt so fucking good. like i know i probably shouldn't care that much
but i do because it makes me feel really good, and when i'm ignored it feels
bad, so yeah. very happy about that. damn ig things have been good? that's
interesting kinda. fr tho it was nice and i feel like i have an actual presence
now, i'm not just a nobody. i think it would be cool to show the project off to
other people in the classic tetris community, the issue is pretty much all
discourse there happens on proprietary platforms, namely discord, that i don't
have, so i kinda can't. not a huge deal, there's still work to do on it so it's
not really at a """complete""" state yet (i say that as if i'm ever gonna
consider this finished in any way), but idk i guess im in a good mood? despite
having been awake for 19 hours?