i get so fucking jealous seeing people, just, like, live life. normally. like i
get irrationally angry. when i see people just, doing work they need to do. or
maybe they'll procrastinate on something because they'd rather do something more
fun but then when they're done with the fun thing they're like ok time to do the
thing i need to do! and then they just do it. and they do fucking fine. they get
by and live normal-ish lives.

saying shit like about how they're just here for the degree. that's just the
attitude that everyone has. and i'm the weird one for not having that attitude.
even if i did have that attitude i'm failing at that because i'm failing classes
and shit and at this rate i struggle to see myself graduating on time, even if i
do stick with this.

i don't know where i'm going with this. i'm just sad and confused