i really dont have a plan for what to do if i end up failing or dropping out of
college. like i really dont want that to happen but at this point its a genuine
possibility, and fuck i really dont have a plan for that. like i dont know what
im going to do. i dont want to be stuck in a miserable shitty job for the rest
of my life. at that point why even live.

maybe im admitting defeat too early. actually yeah thats exactly what im doing.
ill be fine, ill stay in college, and it will be an uphill battle and a struggle
but its ok im going to get through it one way or another, even if it takes me a
while