so i just woke up and i should go back to sleep but im feeling a bit restless rn
(not necessarily in a bad way, i mean, i guess it's bad for my sleep schedule
but eh), just wanted to write something here. so uh someone found the reality
log and messaged me about it, and if you're reading this you know who you are so
hi! :D ngl i wasnt expecting it at all, like i didn't really expect that someone
would see it, let alone care to read it and message me about it, so that felt
simultaneously really good but also a bit awkward lol, not in a bad way where i
wish she didn't, but in a "woah okay wasn't expecting that" kind of way. but if
people can find ways to relate to what i write here then i might as well keep
writing. :) after bringing up the reality log she invited me to an IRC channel
with close friends in the area (apparently we reside relatively close to each
other which is cool) and i was really excited about that, im a bit shy and
non-confrontational so like i want to talk with people but i don't really know
where to start cuz it feels a bit weird just barging in (even though that's
like, exactly the correct thing to do in this case lol), but yeah i'm just
excited about this and it's cool that it started from pouring my emotions onto a
public webpage just waiting for someone to stumble across it, and i hope that
maybe i can fit in with this group? seems like i should, again im just socially
awkward lmao but i'll maybe try to talk more to everyone.

in other news im most likely gonna be starting a minecraft server this friday, i
already know one or two people who will want to play on it and i'll let others
know to see if anyone else wants to, maybe the server won't last long but i'm
just in a minecraft mood (on that note this is my non-confrontational way of
saying hey if anyone reading this wants to join just lmk and i'll whitelist you,
if not then no worries)

i think my biggest fear regarding the future of the reality log is whether i'll
be disincentivized from writing because i know there's eyes on it. the person
who found it already asked me to make an RSS feed for this, and i'm a bit
hesitant to do that, i haven't ruled out the idea completely but realistically i
probably won't. i think the best path going forward is to just continue to write
as if no one is reading and sparratically (ok wait i looked it up and apparently
it's spelled "sporadically", huh thats cool lol). it's always gonna be in the
back of my mind that there may or may not be eyes on it but ill try to not let
that impact things too much, cuz i do like having this all just be public and
out there. if there's ever entries that people can relate to then yeah that's
great and tbh let me know if you're comfortable doing so, but i'm still
generally treating this as a write-only medium, i still don't look back and
re-read anything so if it doesn't make sense then so be it. p.s. if you're
comfortable making your own version of something like this i think that would be
really cool to see, but i also acknowledge that most people wouldn't feel
comfortable putting themselves out there in a way like this which is entirely
reasonable, but if you're comfortable with it then i encourage you to at least
try it out

in the future my entries probably won't be directed at anyone in particular,
this is the exception since now i know someone else knows this exists and may be
reading