i repeat myself a lot on here because i feel like everything is stacked against
me and stuff bears reiterating. it sucks and i feel like a downer but like its
kinda true, and i want to say that this gives me the courage to defeat the odds
and all that but i really dont feel that, i just go one day at a time and do
stuff as it comes up generally, since thats basically the most i can do. the
prospect of having completed something and then thinking oh i have to to this
again and again every day for a large part of my life is terrifying to me, so i
dont think about it